I’ve been learning Argentine tango for a couple of years now and at times, I wish that I had a permanent partner to dance with. Simply because everytime I go to a class or a milonga, there never seems to be enough men to dance with. The idea, however, of dancing with only one person all the time sounds a bit daunting but it does make it easy when going to a social event.
At the milonga course I started recently, the ladies (and notably the only participants in the course) were discussing how the men gradually disappear in the tango scenes. They may be quite a number of them present at the beginning but as you progress to intermediate levels, they become scarce. We ask, “Is this because men think that they don’t need to learn (go to classes) anymore?” If so then why is there still a huge imbalance at milongas? Or, are men more frightened by the dance than women?
It was funny and poignant that one of the women pointed out that this imbalance gives the men a “false sense of importance.” That because there are more women at milongas, men feel that they are more wanted thus feeling important. As followers in tango, the women has no choice but to wait in the sidelines as the men take their picks to the dancefloor. Although I know of some women who ask first instead of waiting. If you are at milongas with these women, it is very frustrating because your chances of dancing are diminished two-fold.
I don’t know why this (lack of men) happens and I wouldn’t know what to do about it either. I can only hope that more of them will join and learn.
I am afraid to say it is because it takes a man 3 years to get reasonably competant depending on how much time and effort is put in. A woman can become competant in 6 months to a year. The men get complacent, and then new ones come and you have to wait 3 years for them while you are already good and getting better. If you just refuse to dance with someone who is not competant, well that is a small price to pay. There is more to Tango than dancing, trust me I know. I don’t dance much and I know what you mean by having a regular dance partner. It would be nice, but that’s life. We outnumber the men. Think of it as a relationship, you do without until you find the right ones, or you try a few until you find one you like. If you can’t dance because there are no good men, have a nice conversation with a nice lady instead.
This is why I go for a Salsa or Ceroc Fix!
Thanks for that insight, Arlene. I’m not being picky on dancing partners, at times, there aren’t any at all!
Same story here in Sydney, Australia. At last count we had about 21 schools in Sydney and we rarely have even numbers – and often 10 or 15 extra women. I fortunately have a partner but one of the reasons we have been together for so many years (36) is his chivalry. He sees it as his duty to dance with single women, so I am often sitting on the sidelines enjoying a conversation instead of a dance.
It varies here in California, particularly in the smaller areas where there are fewer lessons and milongas available (only 2 instructors in town, 2 weekly milongas and sporadic others). Some classes there are no men and others twice as many men as women and some classes are all women, most of the classes are mixed levels as we simply do not have enough students to support tiered classes.
As far as the milongas go, the local ones the women tend to outnumber the men. In general, there seem to be more women who are good dancers than there are men. If I drive an hour, then there are milongas where there are many more men who are good leaders and in some cases the men outnumber the women.
Men have always been known for their chivalry. If they are treated well by women, they get treated better in return. If women want to be taken good care of by their men, they need to respect and treat their men with dignity.
Men have always been known for their chivalry. If they are treated well by women, they get treated better in return. If women want to be taken good care of by their men, they need to respect and treat their men with dignity.